Ode to my Buddy – Kadeem Beresford-James
I tried, for hours, to write something for him.
To be profound, and deep; philosophical, like him.
I tried to describe my pleasure at meeting someone years my junior at university
who wrote both well and interestingly.
I tried to show my shock that, once again, I was the youngest of all my friends.
I tried cooking squid for inspiration.
I tried shopping and writing at once.
I tried smoking in the middle of nowhere.
I tried everything.
And then, boozing, defeated, I knew.
Trying too hard leads to failure.
The desire to do, and happenstance words, and a deadline, and a friend –
that’s all this is.
A simple insanity. A rational complexity.
How I see him.
How I try to be.